The easy one first: the Birthers. For those of you living in a cave for the past couple of years, there is an issue regarding President Obama's birth. Specifically, whether or not his place of birth was somewhere that would still allow him to run for our highest office. There are four tidbits under consideration:

1: The Birth Announcement. When a child is born, generally someone calls a newspaper and tells their Birth Announcement section that hey! this kid was born! Anti-birthers use this as evidence that of course Obama was born in Hawaii. See the Birth Announcement? But whether this is credible or not is not the issue; it's a matter of relevance. From my home, far, far from Hawaii, I can get on a phone and call any Hawaiian newspaper, or any newspaper in any other state, and tell them that my wife has given birth to a bouncing baby boy. Without calling any newspaper into question, I sincerely doubt that they are going to blow a lot of time, money, and resources tracking this down and verifying it. So Obama has a blurb in the paper say that he was born. Big deal. Chances are it was never confirmed. So using this as proof, even with the argument against a broad-scope conspiracy to groom the Annointed One at birth to become president fifty years later, is invalid. It isn't proof. It's circumstantial AT BEST.

2: Grandma's statement. The Birthers claim they have heard from Obama's African grandmother that she was present, in Africa, at Obama's birth. This would mean that Obama is disqualified from being president, IF IT CAN BE VERIFIED. But who would prosecute this? Eric Holder? Nancy Pelosi? Harry Reid? Even if it's one hundred percent true, even if Obama makes a public announcement saying that he was, in fact, born in Kenya, what can be done about it? Anyone that would preside over this case is in Obama's camp, he's made sure to stack that deck already. Even the Supreme Court can't be counted on, given the split as it stands. After completely ignoring our Constitution, after employing fraudsters like ACORN, after appointing a rogue's gallery of czars, does anyone honestly think he's going to cave to this? At best, it could cause him grief in his re-election bid in 2012...if he hasn't had the law changed by then.

3: Adopted in Indonesia. There is an argument that he was adopted by his step-father, Sotero, when his mother remarried. This would have made him a citizen of Indonesia. Unless something was done to negate this, it means he holds dual citizenship, which also disqualifies him from the office. But with crappy Indonesian record keeping, and having the vast US Government at his beck and call, even if this were true, you can bet that documents would suddenly appear that render this a non-issue. Even if he doesn't produce this eleventh hour Christmas Miracle, we run into the same pit as with the question of his actual birthplace.

4: Which certificate? Apparently there are two different forms of birth certificate in Hawaii. One is iron-clad and indisputable. The other...not so much. The latter form has been presented, the Birthers want to see the former. Frankly, I see no problem with this. It's easily resolved; just present the form and end the debate. Obama's refusal to reveal the former form leads one to two conclusions: Either the president has something to hide, or the president doesn't think this is worth answering.

I submit a third conclusion, and I think this one is far more likely; Obama WANTS this controversy. This thing is bringing all kinds of tinfoil hats out of the attic, and they're all being considered as core right-wingers. This only plays to Obama's favor. It's easy to discredit lunatics, and further discredit anyone group associated with them. This costs the ACTUAL right-winger a lot of credibility, as the media jumps all over our fringe whackos. "Look at this guy, claiming the President was born in Kenya. What a nut! HE'S A CONSERVATIVE!"

Birthers, you are doing us no favors with this. Whether Obama was born in Hawaii, Kenya, Indonesia, or Narnia, it changes nothing because there is NOTHING we can do about it. You're calling out the fox in the hen house, but you're expecting other foxes to do something about it. What's worse, YOU are the hen, drawing attention to yourself, thus the foxes can use you to hunt down the rest of the chickens.

Is there a question of Obama's birthplace? Sure. Is there a question of his adoptive and dual-citizen status? Sure. Are these legitimate questions? Sure. Has the White House dodged these questions? Sure.

Is anything going to be accomplished? Sorry, but no.

The next issue, and far more relevant, is the question of Obama's religion. You know it's more relevant because the media is willing to ignore Birthers to go after those who even hint that they suspect that Obama might possibly be Muslim. And if any of them bother reading this (yeah, right) then you can almost hear the conversation. "Heh, this Mo guy, what an idiot. Going on about the Birther thi...whoa. He's questioning Obama's religion? HOLY CRAP, STOP THE PRESSES AND CALL SEIU!!"

I blame the west's perennial refusal to understand ANYTHING about an enemy. Thanks to public schooling (thanks DoE!) few people have the skills or patience to actually research something, unless it involves boobs (GUILTY!) But here is what I've found, and these things should be discussed, should be questioned, and should be entirely relevant to any question regarding our President and Islam.

First is the status of one's birth. In Islam, if your father was Muslim, than you are considered by that faith, a Muslim, until the day you die, or the day you renounce Islam (and in Islam, those days tend to fall on the SAME day). Obama Senior's father was Muslim. Thus Obama Senior was, regardless of the intensity of his devotion, a Muslim. Since Senior was a Muslim, Junior was born Muslim as well. That sets this ball rolling.

While in Indonesia, Obama Junior attending schools that taught Islam, which is common in schools in Muslim-leaning countries, and Indonesia had a large Muslim population, of which Obama's adopted step-father was a member.

But then, later in life, Obama says he converted, joining Jeremiah Wright's church...not exactly a Christian church, judging from the sermons we've all been made aware of, but still, Obama claims that he left Islam.

Here's where the tricky parts come in. If you leave Islam, you are an apostate. Islam has a very simple rule about dealing with apostates; get your ass back to the mosque or get bludgeoned to death with a rock. Under Islamic faith and law, it is the sworn duty, in Allah's name, to convert, enslave via Dhimmitude, or kill anyone who is not Islam. This includes apostates.

So there are two possibilities here. Either Obama is an apostate, and thus must be killed for leaving Islam, which means there will be no negotiating with any Islamic country, or he is still a Muslim, which means he is bound to answer the call to Jihad or forfeit his place in Heaven.

Before you pooh-pooh this conclusion, there is a third tidbit you need to be aware of: the Taqiyya. This little nugget in Islam means that you are allowed to lie, if it helps protect Islam. You can even claim to denounce Islam, call Muhammed a goat-loving pervert, and spit on a Quran; all perfectly fine if you are doing so to deceive infidels and further the cause of Islam.

So let's break this down logically: How does one protect himself? Well, the easiest means, and one which seems to have a great deal of appeal in Islam, is to remove your enemies. How? The Quran is pretty clear on this, too: Convert them to Islam, force them to accept Dhimmitude (slavery), or death. So who is Islam's enemies? According to their "Prophet," anyone who is NOT Islam or enslaved under Dhimmitude. In that the United States is considered an enemy of Islam, it can be concluded without venturing anywhere outside the realm of legitimate probability, that a person could be born Muslim, schooled in Islam, then later claim to denounce Islam, never again bow to Mecca, never answer to the Call to Prayer, not make your wife wear a burkha, let your wife, your children, and yourself, behave in a completely western non-Islamic way, if in doing so you are furthering the cause of Islam, and Allah will assure that person a place by his side in Heaven.

Is Obama a Muslim? Possibly. But it can not be confirmed one way or another without the aid of Professor Xavier and the Uncanny X-Men. All we can go by is what we can observe.

He was born a Muslim.
He was schooled in Islam.
He joined a "Christian" church that has far more in common with Islam than Christ.
A large number of people around him are anti-Semite.
He's perfectly fine with selling out Israel.
In his dealings with terrorist-friendly nations, he's about as harsh as a Care Bear. whereas to our non-Islamic allies, he's been rude, disrespectful, and insulting...and that's just the countries he HASN'T completely stabbed in the back.

Taking this small list into account, not only is it possible that Obama is still Muslim, it's a disturbingly distinct probability. If this were being tried in a courtroom, even if you consider all this circumstantial evidence, the preponderance of it would be enough to convict. But even if he isn't Muslim, as he claims, it does nothing to change the facts of what he has done. And the apostate alternative does nothing to reassure, either.

Sorry to be so mean to any Muslims out there reading this, but I have a hard time trusting any person who claims devotion to a religion that considers lying a good thing, and death as the highest form of prayer, not to mention the other heinous acts that are allowed and encouraged under Islam; rendering their female population to the status of cattle, hideous genital mutilation of women, child molestation, rape, wife-beating, child abuse, using women, children, and the infirm as suicide bombers, slavery, murder, theft...

I'm sorry, maybe I missed something...but who, exactly, is the Great Satan supposed to be?

Crossposted at JBYP