In case you're just now reading my stuff for the first time, allow me to clarify; I don't like Obama. I think he's either wholly corrupt or a complete idiot. Neither bodes well for our country and neither gives any confidence in his worthiness for our highest office. But it would be intellectually dishonest NOT to praise him for doing something right, or to come to his defense when deserved.

First off, let's discuss appropriate behaviors in foreign countries. And just to throw you libs a bone, we'll start with a little Bush-bashing. Accepting a gift is one thing; when the Saudi king presented Bush with a big gaudy necklace, it was kind of a gray area. In the Middle East, guys don't typically give jewelry to other guys. I think it's the whole "Behead the homosexuals for the Glory of Allah" thing. But leaders of nations can fudge a bit on the rules. However, the Saudi king actually PUT the necklace around Bush's neck. That's a whole 'nother thing. That act said "I am putting this necklace on you as I would a woman. Thus you are not only a woman, you are MY woman." Basically, he made Bush his Bitch. To which Bush stupidly responded with a smile and a slight bow, effectively saying "Yup! I'm your Bitch!" Had the king done this to anyone in his own culture, someone would be leaving the room sans a few body parts. Raping a guy's wife right in front of him would be deemed less of an insult than this. (and what does that say about this culture, eh?)

Crossposted at JBYP
By the by, the Saudi King did the same thing to Obama.

Also in the Middle East, as it is in most parts of the word, bowing is a sign of subservience. You bow to those you deem better than you. Given that the Saudi King has shown the US great disdain and is hardly an ally, Obama's bow this past year was wildly inappropriate and certainly deserving of criticism. His lame excuse, easily disproved in the photos, only made it worse.

Which brings us to Obama's bow to the Japanese Emperor. Bowing in Japan takes on an entirely different meaning; it's a HANDSHAKE. A husband can bow to his wife, a kid can bow to anther kid, martial artists bow to the tatami mat before they step on it.

The sight gag of two people performing Japanese bows to each other is actually based in a realistic situation; when you bow in Japan, you are saying "I respect you." The other guy bows, saying "No, I respect you." Rinse, lather, repeat, hilarity ensues. It's a one-up-manship of politeness. Whoever stops bowing first shows disrespect, thus shaming himself. Typically, to avoid lower back injury, it's an unwritten rule that you stop after two or three times.

Now, there are nuances (anyone else sick of that word?) in a bow; the deeper the bow, the greater respect you are showing. Obama is bent almost 90 degrees; that's about as low as you can go without yoga training. By Japanese standards, Obama's overdoing it. This is the depth one goes to when apologizing for accidentally eating the recipient's child.

Also, the eye direction is meaningful. Lowering your eyes a bit is acceptable; looking straight at the ground is a very subservient sign; you are not worthy to look up the person to whom you are bowing. This is not something our President should be doing. He is meeting with an EQUAL, not a superior.

Then there is the handshake-with-bow. As my lovely wife pointed out to me (she's WAY more knowledgeable about such things) you either bow OR shake hands. Never both. It shows that you are trying to impose your own customs onto the recipient, which is crass at best. True, many Japanese do both...when they come here. This is to accommodate our ignorance of their culture, which is only polite; you don't piss on someone's customs in their own home, nor do you correct them there.

Obama's bow could be verbally translated as thus: "(bow initiated) I respect you. (bow at 45 degrees) Oh GOD how I respect you. I am not worthy. (bow at 90 degrees) I debase myself before you. (eyes to the floor) I am so very sorry for simply existing in your august presence. Please take pity on me. (handshake) I'm an ignorant hick. Do you think you can introduce me to Sailor Moon?"

Conversely, Clinton's head-bob in previous years would be considered very disrespectful. This is like sticking your hand out to be shaken, then refusing to clasp, then demanding a moist towelette from the person you just shook hands with. However, this took place on American soil; different customs. What SHOULD have happened, was the Emperor gives a little head bow and/or handshake to the President, then the President responds in kind. I'm not having any success in finding out who bowed first. If the Emperor bowed first, then Clinton gave a head-bob, that's perfectly acceptable etiquette. If Clinton bobbed first, then he insulted our country by showing subservience to a foreign ruler on our own turf.

Good lord, now I'm defending Clinton. My day just keeps getting better and better.

What I would be more interested in is what was the Emperor's response? It's custom to return the bow you've received, and from what I have seen, the Emperor seems like a decent, respectful guy. But considering how Obama has treated our allies since coming to power? There are three ways the Emp could have responded: He returned the bow, trying to help Obama save face for his multiple social gaffes; he made a partial bow, showing SOME respect, but is obviously displeased; or he did not bow, showing that he is absolutely furious with Obama, to the point that he's willing to accept a degree of shame to show Obama just how pissed he is. Chances are, he opted for the second choice.

So for my Conservative brethren, please, calm down. Obama went to Japan and followed a Japanese custom, which is fully expected of a President, and respectful to a host that has been a friend and ally to our country for decades. The only problem I have with it is he took it too far and wound up looking like the typical American dipstick who couldn't be bothered to learn the house rules of his host. Which is expected of a narcissist like Obama.

I'm not an expert on Japanese culture. I had planned on taking a trip there once, so I studied up a bit on the society and even learned a smattering of the language. That's as far as I got. If I've gotten this wrong, then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE correct me. Having to defend that jackass fills me with the urgent need to scrub my hands with steel wool and rinse my eyes with bleach.

UPDATE I have now seen footage, from a Japanese station. Obama's bow was NOT reciprocated. Even the Emperor's wife barely nodded her head at him. Looks like we've lost yet another ally.